let's make a list

Why do people need to announce that it’s Monday? I know it’s Monday. Don’t wish me happy Monday. Don’t ask me if I have a case of the Mondays. Just don’t talk to me.

…

I made an observation over the weekend that I’m going to share. 

Not unlike most people my age, I’ve been to my share of house parties.  I’ve come to the conclusion that there are 10 different kinds of [annoying] drunk people.

Let’s make a list:

1.   The one who drinks everything in sight – I’ve encountered this type of drunk many times before and it never really bothered me until last Saturday, when I saw my drink in their hand. GTFO.

2.   The one who is tone deaf but will sing/shout along to every song - I don’t mind if you can’t sing and you still want to, just don’t do it in my face… to every song that comes on… even the ones you don’t know the words to...  If you truly are that invested in singing… maybe take a lesson or two.

3.   The crying drunk chick – apparently, girl + alcohol = tears. There’s always at least one girl who has a breakdown (usually over nothing) and wakes up the next morning not having a clue what she was upset about.

4.   The fighting couple – they’ll spend most of the night separate from each other and then one of them will have a lapse in logic and decide to pick a fight so they’ll either get into a screaming match in the porch or lock themselves in the bathroom. Always a good time.

5.   The one who climbs on furniture - pretty self explanatory.  Stop standing on the couch…

6.   The one who can’t hold their liquor - this person will have been to lots of parties before but will STILL be unaware of how much liquor their body can handle, so they will end up headfirst in the toilet before the night is out.

7.   The one who thinks they are the life of the party - there’s one person in every group of friends who believes that they are the reason parties are held. When they get drunk, their delusions of grandeur really become apparent [and it makes you want to smack them.]

8.   The clumsy one – do not lay your drink down.  They will knock it over. 

9.   The one who insists on being the DJ - there’s always that person who needs to get at the iTunes every five minutes and put on their favorite song.  Total buzzkill.  Listen, just make a playlist and leave it the frig alone.

10. The one who requests a song and then continuously asks you when it’s going to come on - it’s usually one of those songs that are on the radio forty-three times a day, but they want you to play it anyway… and they want to know exactly when it’s going to come on.

If you’re unfortunate enough to know anybody who falls under more than one of the aforementioned categories, leave them off your next guest list.