While I don’t have any talents or skills (like most normal
people do), I do consider myself to have impeccable
taste in television and movies. I’ve
watched enough television to know what makes a quality TV show and what makes a
horrible, pointless, hour-long waste of
time. Most shows that are terrible
timewasters get cancelled after the first season. However, some shows trick people into thinking that they’re
actually worth watching, thus giving me the need to create a list of the top
ten most overrated shows on television right now.
1. Two and a Half Men
– I seriously don’t get the appeal of this show. Even when Charlie Sheen was on it, it wasn’t
enjoyable, and Charlie Sheen is everybody’s favourite train wreck. But honestly, what is the fascination with
this show? It’s just Pretty in Pink’s Duckie
trying not to get kicked out of his brother, Charlie [Sheen]’s beach-front home
in Malibu while trying to raise his lazy, airheaded son, and deal with his
snobby, entitled ex-wife, (and sometimes his sexual deviant of a mother). They couldn’t even finish shooting the 8th
season because Charlie Sheen checked himself into rehab and had some choice words with
the writers of the show. So, they hired
Ashton Kutcher – of all people – to take Charlie’s place who,
coincidentally, is also dealing with a divorce and, here comes the shocker, is
rich too! And for some bizarre reason,
Ashton’s character has no problem letting some random man and his round-faced kid
live with him. That sounds like a recipe
for a terrible waste of a half hour, if you
ask me.
2. Grey’s Anatomy
– I’m sure even the biggest fans of this show will agree with me that it’s
completely and utterly overrated. I always liken it to a more sexualized, more
modernized, less awkward version of Dawson’s Creek. Grey’s Anatomy is a drama-filled show about a group of interns who are accepted
into the residency program at the fictional Seattle Grace Hospital and
we basically watch as they trade sexual partners with each other, screw up
medical procedures, get yelled at by their superiors, and basically sit around
in stairwells doing everything but work. All while speaking in horrible clichés and having
crazy mood swings. MadTV’s parody sums
up the show pretty well:
3. Dancing with the Stars – Unbelievably, everybody
and their mom love this show. The
producers should be sued for false advertising, because from the few episodes I’ve
forced myself to sit through, I saw no stars.
This show is, astonishingly, on its 16th season and the “star”’
of Season 16 are: Alexandra Raisman, Andy
Dick, D.L. Hughley, Dorothy Hamill, Ingo Rademacher, Jacoby Jones, Kellie Pickler,
Lisa Vanderpump, Sean Lowe, Victor Ortiz, Wynonna Judd, and Zendaya. I recognize 3 of 16 of these names, two of
which were considered washed up 5 or more years ago, and the third was made
famous through a reality show, therefore, I don’t think she should be
considered a “star”. I think it goes without saying that this show
makes promises it can’t keep. If they
actually had stars on this show, I would watch it. I certainly wouldn’t mind spending one hour a
week watching Paul Rudd tackle the Lindy Hop or Emma Stone trying to master the
Fox trot. But I couldn’t
care less about watching a random Olympic
athlete trying to perfect his/her pas
de bourée.
4. Gossip Girl – I’ve probably watched all of five minutes of this show
and that’s all I needed to be able to form an opinion. It’s like they took Degrassi, gave the
characters gargantuan
trust funds, and amplified their sexuality by five million. I mean, I almost got pregnant just from watching a preview for the fourth season. It’s basically rich bitches fighting over
boys and backstabbing their friends. Essentially,
it’s the reason why guys think girls are psychotic. Thanks, Gossip Girl.
5. 2 Broke Girls – I know a lot of people
like this show exclusively for Kat Dennings, but, I’m not a fan. I can’t get past her teeth, I’m sorry. And I’m so over the
character that she tries to pull off in every role she plays. I mean, she was funny in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (which was the first time I saw her), when she
played an awkward, sarcastic, and slightly insecure indie chick who inevitably
falls for Michael Cera’s nervous, gawky, and slightly timid character (a
character which is also played out) – but seeing
her play the same part over and over again is just tiring. And putting her next to a completely
unlikable Beth Behrs (Caroline) just adds insult to injury. The writing is just simple-minded humor and
consists of mostly one-liners that Dennings’ sassy character dishes out a few
times an episode. Trust me, there are better things you could be doing on a Monday night.
6. The Voice – When the preview for this
series aired, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but the whole “blind audition”
thing seemed pretty exciting. I learned, however, that once the auditions
are actually over, it’s basically just The X Factor. The only exception being that the judges are
seated in ridiculously oversized swivel
chairs.
Here’s the part of the list where people start wanting to
kick my ass:
7. Glee – I used to be the biggest
gleek, seriously. But, in my opinion,
after the first season, it just wasn’t the same show. I mean, one of the things that kept you
watching was Rachel Berry’s overzealous character in her knee-socks and pony
sweaters. But then they gave her bangs. And
makeup. And tight shirts. And she’s
just not the same, loveable Rachel Berry anymore. And then they started picking terrible songs to cover, like Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”. And Ryan
Murphy, the writer, seems to have an obsession with starting story arcs and
then completely forgetting about them.
It’s a little frustrating. But
people still rave about the show. It has
taken home four Golden
Globes and six People’s Choice
Awards. People certainly
haven’t stopped watching, despite how poor the writing has gotten. Sorry, Ryan Murphy. I still like you as a friend.
8. The Walking Dead – If you know me, you’ll
know I’m a huge fan of The Walking
Dead. But, that still doesn’t mean that
it’s not overrated. It’s a good show,
don’t get me wrong, but the way people worship this show like it’s the best show on television and that nothing will ever
top it is just stupid. I understand that
making a show about the zombie apocalypse is definitely a challenge. I mean, it’s not a two-hour movie in which
the characters can sail away on a raft to what you can only assume is “freedom”, since that’s where the movie
ends. Nonetheless, I still think people
give this show more praise than it deserves.
There’s no denying that the plot twists are constantly unexpected and
that the there’s no shortage of cliffhangers, but more often than not you’re
just sort of sitting and waiting for something to happen. The actors are amazing, the concept is
genius, but it still feels like there’s something lacking.
9. Breaking Bad – Expecting some hate mail
for this one. I think I’ve gotten at
least halfway through the third season of this show and I’m still
not hooked. If you ask me, there’s
something wrong there. I know a few
people who would go as far as to say that this is the single greatest show on
TV. I don't get that. It’s my understanding that the main character
in a television show should be likeable.
I mean, Dexter Morgan is a serial killer, and I still wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers. Walter White, on
the other hand, deserves a punch in the face (in my opinion, anyway). Also, I feel like a lot of the ‘twists’ in
this show are purely for shock value. They don't necessarily make the story any better. You’re always thinking “jeepers, how’s Walt going to get himself out of
this?” and then by some completely unrealistic means, everything gets resolved. Maybe that’s a large part of why I don’t like
the show. I get stressed out easily, especially
while watching TV shows or movies in which somebody gets him/herself into a
lot of trouble. Ever see Dinner for
Schmucks? Well, I have to watch that
movie in increments, spread out over a couple of days, because the amount of
things that go wrong in that movie is just too much for me to handle. And then there’s Skylar. Seriously, why is she so annoying? I cringe anytime she opens her oversized
mouth.
10. The Big Bang Theory – I think this one
is going to upset the most people. But,
I cannot understand the overwhelming attraction
to this show? I’m confident that if you
asked 80% of the population to list their favourite shows, this show would be
among the top three. Yes, I agree that Jim Parsons is a comedic genius and is a terrific actor and all that good stuff. Yes, John Galecki, Kunal Nayyar, and Simon Helberg are
also incredibly talented and witty and blah blah blah. I still don't agree that this show just is as remarkable as everybody makes it out to be. I
think that most people like to pretend that
they identify with Sheldon and that they can understand what he’s
saying when he gets on with his scientific hypotheses and shit. But, get real. And I don’t know what they were thinking when
they decided on Kaley Cuoco’s character.
Way to make it look like all pretty girls are dumb. Not that I would take offense to that (I'm not exactly a Kaley Cuoco look-a-like), but any female characters on The Big Bang Theory are… well...not ugly, per se…
but they certainly give off the impression that they don’t give a shit about
their appearance. (I’m talking to you, Mayim Bialik).
