blue christmas

The holidays can be filled with love and joy, but when you’ve lost someone close to you, they can be filled with heartbreak and sadness.

I lost my father just eight short months ago and I am about to celebrate my first Christmas without him.  It’s a devastating thought, and one that I’ve tried to push out of my mind for a long time.  But I can picture my father saying “don’t be so foolish” and then revving up to sarcastically say “don’t smile, now, you might crack your makeup,”  (he loved that one) at the mention of me being sad over the holidays.

So, in keeping with my father’s fun-loving and don’t-let-anything-get-you-down attitude, I’ve come up with a few ways to celebrate my first Christmas without him besides spending it in a dark corner by myself.

Surround Myself with Family

My first thought when I was trying to come up with a solution to surviving this Christmas season was to spend as much time as possible with somebody else’s family.  I figured that way I could try to forget what was going on in my own family and act like everything was normal.  I’ve since changed my mind – after spending the weekend with my brother and step-mom putting up our tree and tidying up the house, it reminded that it’s more important than ever to be around family this year.  What helps anybody get through a terrible loss is a good support system and I definitely have that, so this year I’m going to take advantage of it and spend as much time as possible with them.

Talk About Him

When somebody passes away and leaves behind a lot of loved ones to grieve, talking about it is usually a no-no because the memories are too painful to dredge up and everyone is trying to forget the fact that they’ve lose somebody close to them.  Without accepting that there’s been a loss, there’s no way to move on with the rest of your life.  You don’t have to like it, just acknowledge that it happened.  And then celebrate their life; share stories about them that only you knew, and talk about what you think they’d be doing right now.  I’ll be remembering my father complaining about all the cleaning we have to do before our relatives come over for Christmas, just to have them mess up the house again, and I’ll be imagining him sitting in his lounge chair watching awful 70s game shows while my step-mom scrambles around to get everything ready.  Of course he’ll ask if she needs his help, but she’ll decline, because she knows better.

Continue His Traditions

Sometimes it may seem like it would be too painful to carry on with traditions that used to involve a loved one who isn’t around anymore, but it can actually be quite comforting, and it’s a small way to honor them.  My dad used to love setting off his own fireworks in the park every New Year’s Eve.  He’d collect fireworks from various places throughout the year and get us all out to enjoy the display.  It has been a few years since we’ve done that; as we got older we started having our own plans on New Year’s Eve so we weren’t around.  This year, however, we’re going to set off the biggest and brightest display of fireworks and share the great memories we had of my father lighting the fireworks every year, and be grateful to my father for starting this tradition.

Give Myself Permission to Feel Okay

There’s no doubt in my mind that this Christmas will be sad.  It’s going to be really hard to enjoy myself knowing that my father isn’t around to help us decorate the tree or eat my step-mom’s Christmas cookies.  But there will be moments when it won’t be so bad.  There will be tears, and that’s okay; but there will also be laughter, and that’s okay too.  Anyone who knew my father would know that he would not want anyone moping around during Christmas.  It’s okay to feel sad about losing a loved one, but it’s also okay to feel happy about the ones you still have around you.

Cherish the Ones That Are Still Around

If losing my father has taught me anything, it’s that life is short.  That’s why it’s so important for me, now more than ever, to make the most of the time I have with my family and friends that are still around.  The reason I was able to deal with my father’s passing is because I have no regrets; he and I have an infinite number of amazing memories and inside jokes and I cherish each one of those with every day that passes.  And should I lose another loved one, God forbid, I want to be able to say the same thing when that time comes.  So for now, while I still have them on this earth, I’m going to cherish the crap out of my family, and you should too.

rated h for horrible

Nothing gets you in the Christmas spirit like cozying up in front of the TV and enjoying a holiday movie.  Among my favourites are The Holiday, Love Actually, and Eight Crazy Nights.  One would think that with the overabundance of Christmas movies that exist today, there would be enough for everyone to find a favourite.  But organizations like Universal Studios and 20th Century Fox beg to differ, which I guess is why they keep cranking out turds seasons after seasons.

These are the five worst holiday movies ever made. 

Jingle All the Way (1996) 

A salesman for a mattress company is constantly busy at his job and after missing his son's karate exposition, he tries hard to come up with a way to make it up for him.  To placate his unhappy son he asks him is there is anything he wants for Christmas.  His son wants Turbo Man but unfortunately for the salesman, it is Christmas Eve and every store is sold out of Turbo Man figures.  Now he must embark on a comical quest to find one.

I really tried to like this movie.  It's got Arnold Schwarzenegger!  Usually, the novelty of Arnold in a comedy goes a long way; Kindergarten Cop is one of my favourite movies.  Unfortunately, this movie misses the mark.  The painfully unfunny slapstick combined with painful evidence that Arnold can't act makes this one of the worst holiday movies of all time.

I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998) 

A college student experiences difficulty in getting home for Christmas after being hazed by his friends.  While struggling to get home in time for Christmas, he learns quite a bit about himself and the true meaning of the holiday.

This movie stars Jonathan Taylor Thomas -- if that doesn't send up a red flag, nothing will.  He spends the majority of the movie in a red Santa suit after being left in the desert (oh, college!) while playing telephone tag with Jessica Biel (who undoubtedly hates having this movie on her resume).

Surviving Christmas (2004) 

Ben Affleck plays an executive leading an empty, shallow life with only wealth on his side.  Facing another lonely Christmas ahead, he wants to revisit his old childhood home and possibly relive some old holiday memories.  But when he arrives, he finds that the house in which he was raised is no longer the home in which he grew up.  In habited by another family, he offers a nice financial reward that has the family ringing.  But is this generous cash offer only the beginning of an annoying visitor who's a little too overeager to celebrate Christmas?

More cinematographic despair from Ben Affleck who plays a character with little to no social skills.  Not even the late, great James Gandolfini can save this shitshow of a movie.  An unnecessarily complicated and foolish plot has Catherine O'Hara and Christina Applegate hoping that Santa will destroy all copies of this terrible comedy.

Christmas with the Kranks (2004) 

Tim Allen's character is fed up with the commerciality of Christmas; he decides to skip the holiday and go on a vacation with his wife instead.  But when his daughter decides last minute to come home, he must put together a holiday celebration.

This mess is hard to ignore.  Strangely enough, this movie is based on a John Grisham novel, proving that even a bestselling author can inspire crap.

Deck the Halls (2006) 

This holiday comedy is centered around two neighbours in a small New England town who go to war when one of them decides to decorate his house with so many Christmas lights that they are visible from space.  The neighbourhood is turned upside down as the families try to discover the true meaning of Christmas.

A particularly rancid piece of work, this disasterpiece doesn't contain anything resembling real human behavior.  They take their audience for a bunch of fools thinking we'd believe someone like Kristin Chenoweth would marry someone like Danny DeVito, and our beloved Ferris Bueller plays an uptight neighbour who is cynical and crochety.  It's a downright stupid portrait of American suburbia during the holidays.

stocking stuff

Stockings were always my favourite part of Christmas.  It was so exciting to pick through the stuff and see what surprises were in there.  Even though I basically got the same stuff every year, I was always stoked about my stocking.

The following things, along with a few surprises, were what made up my stocking pretty much every Christmas.

Archie Comic Book

I don't quite know how this tradition happened.  My dad gave me an Archie comic book for Christmas one year and ever since then, there's been one in my stocking.  I don't know if I've ever actually read one before but, for some reason, I still looked forward to it every year.

Shaving Cream

This definitely had to be my mom's idea.  She's all about the practical gifts.  Not that it's a bad thing; it meant I didn't have to buy my own shaving cream for a while.

Mini Box of Cereal

I was always partial to the mini boxes of Frosted Flakes.  I'd never eat Frosted Flakes out of a regular-sized box.  They never tasted as good as when they were in the tiny boxes.  Don't ask.

An Orange

My dad always used to joke about what he got for Christmas as a child. 

He'd say "if you got an orange in your stocking, you'd be lucky!"  So every year, he put an orange in our stocking.  They always just ended up back in the fridge.

Band-Aids

I got a thing for funky band-aids.  Luckily, I could count on getting a box in my stocking every year. 

Toothbrush

Again, this had to be my mom's doing.  It was probably for the best, though, because by the time Christmas rolled around, I was due for a new toothbrush.  I mean, the last time I got a new one was... last Christmas.

Can of Soda

Usually it was a can of Coke or Pepsi.  Pretty genius, actually.  Takes up quite a bit of room and makes the stocking feel heavy.  Well played, parents.

Chocolate Santa

Classic stocking stuffer.  Classic and delicious.

Lays Stacks

Or Pringles.  I guess it would depend on which one was on sale at the time.

Hair Elastics

Probably because my mom kept finding mine all over the house and figured I was running out.  

Bubble Bath

One year it was grape-scented Dora the Explorer bubble bath.  Another year it was fruit punch-scented Toy Story bubble bath.  I don't care what scent it is this year, I just hope Sesame Street is involved.

party (not so) hard

Office Christmas parties can be a good time.  There's food, drinks, and music; what's not to love?  Aside from the fact that you have to party with the people you work with, I guess.  But they're not all bad.  Right?

These are the types of people that you're bound to meet at every office Christmas party.

The PDA Couple

At every party there's a couple who, after a few too many drinks, start putting on a ridiculously awkward public display of affection.  But at a work function, the level of awkwardness is amped up by a couple of thousands.  Especially when it's between two co-workers that you know are going to regret it the next morning. 

The One Who Won't Stop Talking About Work

"So, then he asked me why I made single-sided copies instead of double-sided copies and I said, 'Well, you didn't ask me to make double-sided copies.'  Can you believe that?!"  Oh my gosh, no way.  Do you have time to tell that story again?!  I'm so glad you grabbed me off the dance floor to tell me that riveting story.  Don't sell the movie rights until you talk to me first!

The Inappropriately Dressed Coworker

Christmas parties are a chance to get all dolled up and have a fancy night with fancy food and fancy people.  But let's not forget that you still have to work with these people.  The last image they want in their minds when they see you at work on Monday is your boobs and ass, so let's keep those suckers tucked away just for tonight.

The Old Retired Guy Who Tries to Dance With All the Ladies

I have no problem dancing with anybody who asks, especially if I have a few drinks in me.  I'll even save ya two dances, if you want!  But when you start using drink tickets to bribe me into dancing with you a third and fourth time, there's gotta be something wrong with you.  Not saying it won't work, just saying you must have a screw loose.

The Dirty Dancer

There's nothing wrong with being an energetic dancer.  Everyone likes to see others having fun.  The fun stops, however, when someone starts grinding on the HR Manager.  Even though we know that this may in fact lead to the demise of their career, we wouldn't dare intervene - it's way too hilarious.

The One Who Gets Too Handsy

Once they've had a few too many drinks, nothing is off limits.  They start hugging whoever's around, kissing everyone on the cheek, and playing some people's butts like a set of bongos.  I'm not going to lie, sometimes this person is me. 

  

The Plus One

There's nothing worse than agreeing to go stag to the office party and then someone decides to bring their spouse at the last minute.  You then have a decision to make: whether to keep light on the drinking so you don't make a terrible, sloppy first impression or to just say shag it and go nuts anyway.. Me?  I'd just say shag it and go nuts anyway.  You know I would.