parlez-vous anglais?

Time for a quick lesson in grammar.

With all of the social media sites on the go t today, I have seen my fair share of misspelled words and misused phrases because, sadly, a basic knowledge of English is not required to use the Internet.

The following are some examples of misspellings and misuses that I have come across from some of the less than well-educated people on the World Wide Web.

1.       You’re/Your – Gonna get this one out of the way.  Write this down for future reference: “you’re” means “you are”. If you are describing something belonging to or associated with somebody, use “your”. I truly don’t know why people can’t grasp this concept.  “You’re” even frigging looks like “you are” mushed together - the only thing missing is the letter “a”.  I should also mention “they’re”, “their”, and “there”.  “They’re” is equivalent to “you’re”; “their” is equivalent to “your”; and “there” refers to a place or position.

2.      Too/To – Another common yet simple one.  Just think of it this way, “too” means “to an excessive degree”, so the word requires an excessive amount of “O’s”. 

3.       Then/Than – I don’t have a clever way to remember this one – just be smarter.  If you’re comparing something, use “than”.  If not, don’t.

4.        Lose/Loose – I need to make something clear: it’s impossible to “loose weight”.  But you can certainly “lose” it.  Your pants are “loose”, not your pounds.

5.       Supposedly – It isn't supposably.  That’s not a word.  Supposable is a word, but I can guarantee that’s not what you meant.

6.       Definitely – There is no “a” in this word.  It is not “definately”.  It is definitely not “definitily”.  It is “definite” + “ly”. 

7.      Completely – Not “completly.  Not “completeley”.  “Complete” + “ly”.  It’s so completely simple.

8.      Apparently – No matter how much sense you think it makes, the word “appear” is not a part of this word.  “Appearantly” is nothing.  “Apparantly” is also nothing.

9.      Unfortunately – This one is a sort of tricky, I know.  But it’s not “unfortunitly”, nor is it “unfortunetely”.  My dad taught me to spell this in sections when I was in a spelling bee in Grade 5. “UN” “FOR” “TUNA” “TELY”.  May you never misspell this word again.

10.   Weird – Not “wierd”.  “I before E” does not apply here.  Deal with it.

11.   License – Lots of people spell it “licence” which, unless you are from the UK, is wrong.  Others spell it “lisense”.  This is wrong no matter what part of the world you’re in.

12.   Pronunciation – Not “pronounciation”.  Make sure you pronounce it correctly, too.

13.   Finally – Two “L’s”.

14.   Until – One “L”

15.    Used to – Not “use to”.  The most commonly used form of this word means “taking place in the past”. You’re using it to describe the past, so use the past tense. “I used to smoke white widow, but now I smoke OG kush.”

16.   A lot – It’s not one word.  That’s all I can say.  You learn this in Grade 6.  It’s babytown frolics.  Seriously.

17.   Could have – This one drives me crazy.  There’s no such thing as “could of”.  “I could of aced my English test if I wasn't such a knob.”  Nope, but you “could have”.

18.   Couldn’t care less – Sooo many people use the expression “I could care less”. Like: “I could care less that my ex is dating a cheerleader”.  This clearly means you care to some degree, considering you just stated that it is possible for you to care less than the extent to which you are currently caring.  Understand?

19.    Per se – Note the spelling; it is not “per say” – it’s a Latin phrase meaning “in itself”.  If you can’t substitute “in itself” into the sentence wherein you want to use “per se”, don’t use “per se”.  If you don’t know how to use “in itself” in a sentence, then why are you trying to speak Latin?

20.   Literally – There is literally steam coming out of my ears due to the number of people who misuse the word “literally”.  Wait, no there isn’t.  But figuratively there is.  Stop using the word “literally” to mean “figuratively”. Stop.