I’m only 23 years old, so
it’s fair to say that I have a lot more
to learn about life, and I probably haven’t experienced even a quarter of
things yet to come, but I do think I’ve learned (and am in the process of
learning) some pretty important lessons.
These 15 are what I have found to be the most important (so
far):
1. You can’t please everybody – This is a
hard pill to swallow for some people. As
I’ve grown older I’ve realized that there are some people that aren’t going to
like you no matter what. Whether it’s because you’re young, because
you have tattoos, or simply because you have a different personality, you’re
just going to rub some people the wrong way.
But that’s their problem, not yours.
2. Education doesn’t end when school does
– Believe me, I know how great it feels to get out of high school, and how much
greater it feels when to finally graduate from post-secondary, but you can never
stop improving yourself. Life is a
continuous unfolding. You should always be learning, whether it’s picking up an
online course or taking a trip abroad to experience another culture. Life will teach you things whether you choose
to learn or not, but it is so rewarding to remain knowledge-hungry.
3. Not everyone matures at the same rate –
Most of the people I spend my time with are a bit older than me, however it
feels like I know grade-school kids who are
more mature than some of them. I haven’t really come up with a way of dealing
with this, except for biting my tongue.
You just have to take solace in the fact that you are mature and hope that one day
they’ll see the light. Pointing out their immaturity is just a waste of your
breath. Your time is better spent
digging to China with a spoon.
4. Parents are just people – This one was
a little scary to learn, because when we’re younger we assume that parents know
it all.
While my parents are still my heroes in a lot of ways, it’s weird to
realize that they’re not superhuman or infallible.
Parents are just people who have had more experience with life. Doesn’t mean they have all the right
answers. They have feelings, issues, and
triggers just like you. They can be
stubborn, snarky, or spiteful. They’re
just people. They are trying to get used
to having an adult child just as you are getting used to being an adult. They
have dreams and fears, and they are lovable and hateable, just like the rest of
us. Try to recognize just how much most
of our parents love us and have sacrificed for us.
5. Life is fragile – The thing I’ve found
the hardest to accept as I get older is that life is very fragile.
My step-siblings had to deal with the tragedy of losing their father
recently and it made me realize how delicate life is. It’s a difficult thing to come to terms with. Gone are the days of feeling like invincible
adolescents. But while we may not feel unshakable
anymore, we are learning the value of loving people with all our hearts. If we learn anything from this crazy and confusing decade in our
lives, let it be that.
6. You don’t have to have everything figured
out – It seems like when our parents were our age, they were well into
their career, most likely married, and possibly had kids already. Times have changed. You do not
have to have everything figured out in your 20s. This is the decade to take advantage of your
youth and figure out who you are and just exactly what you want out of life
(and how to get it). Guaranteed, anyone
in their 30s [and beyond] wishes they could tell their 20-something self to take their time to figure out their dreams. Take the opportunity to soak in everything
the world has to offer and weigh your options.
You truly have your life ahead of you.
7. You can’t compare yourself to everyone –
Comparing yourself to everybody around you prevents you from seeing and
discovering your own unique gifts and what you have to offer the world. Everybody has different strengths and weaknesses,
different body types, and different talents, which we all accepted and even treasured
when we were 5 years old, but somewhere between then and now we got the idea
that we need to live up to somebody else’s standards. Instead of comparing yourself to everyone
else, recognize the qualities that you admire in others and nurture them inside
yourself. You are doing the best you can and so is everyone else.
8. You have to choose to grow up – Aging
is something that happens naturally, but growing up isn’t. You have to choose to take on all of the
responsibilities of an adult. You won’t wake up on your 25th birthday
with an unstoppable work ethic and a willingness to take on responsibility. If you feel like you’re being treated like a child or that people don’t seem to bestow much
trust in you to be self-reliant, whether
it’s employers or your parents, reevaluate whether or not you have made the conscious
decision to act your age.
9. Responsibility is rewarding – Many
people I know still need to get here. As
easy as it is to leave your chores to
somebody else or put off your assignment because you can copy someone else’s, it
doesn’t match the feeling of empowerment that comes from doing things for
yourself. People underestimate the reward
that comes with being self-sufficient. Unfortunately, some people go their whole
lives without finding out.
10. You’re never too old to look up to someone
– One of the best choices I made for my life
was letting myself have a role model. I used
to assume that as you got older, you shouldn’t look up to anyone, because you
were supposed to be your own role model.
When I started my first real
job two years ago, the person I ended up working for was the most amazing human – I still go to her for advice and I
take her word as gospel. Every day I
strive to become more and more like her which means I’m constantly working at improving
myself. Don’t underestimate
the value of looking up to somebody. It’s
never
too late to find a role model. They can
teach you how to best live the rest of your life.
11. How to appreciate the little things – As
we get older, we have more responsibility
and less time for the things that used to
make us happy when we were younger. If
you take the time to appreciate the little things that
make you smile throughout each day, you will find yourself to be in a much
better space. Looking forward to a 10am
coffee break with a friend or appreciating a stranger’s compliment on your
shoes can really mean the difference between a bad day and a good day. You can choose what mood you’re in – it’s all
about positive
thinking. Enjoy the moment!
12. You can’t depend on others for happiness
– Many of us have bad days because we’re pissed at our boyfriend/girlfriend or
mother/father. But believe me; once you decide
to depend on yourself for your own happiness,
life becomes much brighter.
If your boyfriend gets called into work on your date night, yes, that totally
sucks, but now you have a chance to go through your clothes and donate old ones
to the needy. Your closet is now ready
for new clothes and you’ve helped somebody less fortunate. It’s a win-win.
13. You don’t always have to be right – I
know better than anybody how hard it is to swallow your pride and admit that
you were wrong, but life is much, much better when you learn to do it. Life is short;
too short to spend being stubborn and letting your ego get in the way. Many of my friends still haven’t learned this,
which is why I find it so hard to maintain a lot of my relationships. If you
want to have solid, happy relationships, know that it’s okay to be wrong every now and
again.
14. Take compliments, don’t be so hard on
yourself, and stop the negative self-talk – This may very well be the most important thing that I’ve learned. As most of us know, you are your own worst
critic. Confidence is the key
to taking on the world, especially in your 20s.
Stop beating yourself up over
everything. The sooner you learn to be happy with
yourself, the more confidence you’ll have, which in turn will attract people to
you, and positive things in your life will happen. Self-assuredness can do anything from land
you the perfect job to the man/woman of your
dreams.
Your inner dialogue is the most powerful voice you here.
15. Learn how to apologize – If you take
away only one thing from my post let
it be this. Apologizing is a skill that
you will need for the rest of your life.
There are few things more important than reconciling with those you need
to amend with. Don’t let this fall
through the cracks; it’s part of the essence of being a good person. Life is too short to be hardheaded all the
time. Mend and nurture any and all
relationships in your life, so that your life can be as fruitful as possible.
Have a generous heart. That is
how you make a difference in the world.
