Vituary - Debbie Simms

Debbie Simms

Like a true Newfoundlander, Debbie can drink anyone under the table.  Like most of us, she loves a good bottle of rum and a nice glass of wine.

Debbie has raised four amazing, compassionate, successful sons and, like any true mother, would walk through fire for any one of them.

When my mom was sick, Debbie took my younger brother and I into her home as if we were her own. She plowed us with chips and Pepsi, like any good aunt.

She is a woman of faith who has overcome many obstacles in her lifetime; obstacles that would have broken others.

Debbie makes the best Newfoundland snowballs, and if you’ve ever been to her house, you know she’ll never let you leave hungry.

Aunt Deb, you are beautiful inside and out, and I am counting down the days until I get to sit in your backyard with you shooting Sour Puss next to the firepit.



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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

Vituary - Susan Smith

Susan Smith

Susan is the kind of person who is cool without trying.  She has a kickass collection of cassette tapes and records, but what’s more is that she collects them and listens to them; she hasn’t been collecting them for years just to be able to say so.

Susan loves her friends and never lets a good deed go unappreciated.  If you’ve done something for Susan, guaranteed she will show her appreciation.

She's been through some pretty rough sh*t in her lifetime, buts he still manages to be one of the happiest, silliest, most caring people I know.

Her career alone shows how large a heart Susan has, and the way she treats the people in her life just confirms it. 

Susan’s long, natural hair and fresh face are not only endearing, but beautiful.  She’s a legend in the St. John’s punk scene and she’s got some of the coolest tattoos you’ll ever lay eyes on.  

She's passionate and adventurous, and she's got a great laugh.

She lives and dies for animals, coffee, and board games, and I feel truly privileged to be able to call her a sister and a best friend.

Susan Marie Smith, we need to get our matching cat tattoos ASAP, and I love you.



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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

Vituary - Nicole Gillis

Nicole Gillis

The impact that Nicole has had on my life is a large one.  Having lived in Calgary for just over a year and a half now, I’ve made a small number of friends – none of which have really made a lasting impression on me.  Nicole is the exception.

I don’t know if you believe in soul mates, but I do.  I believe Nicole is my Calgarian soul mate.  Because of Nicole, I am experiencing Calgary the way it is meant to be experienced.

Nicole makes me laugh, she talks me down, and she doesn’t judge me for drinking a bit too much and belligerently shouting lyrics at old ladies butchering The Irish Rovers’ “The Unicorn” at karaoke bars. 

She just “gets me” in every sense of the phrase. 

She’s incredibly caring, generous, and she would walk through fire for any of her friends.  At the same time, she is unwilling to let anybody take advantage of her good nature, which deserves a great deal of respect and admiration.

She’s a Borderlands-obsessed, digital art-producing, pretty, pastel princess, and I feel truly grateful for whatever circumstances brought us both to this city. 

(For anyone interested, this is her design and digital art Facebook page that is definitely worth checking out)

Nicole Marie Gillis, I love you very much.



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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

victims are not to blame

What is it going to take to stop blaming rape victims?

We didn’t blame Harry Manx when he had his guitar stolen at the airport.  We didn’t blame Amanda Lindhout when she was kidnapped and held for ransom in Somalia.  So why the HELL are we still blaming rape victims?

According to Statistics Canada, 1 in 4 North American women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime and of every 100 incidents of sexual assault, only 6 are reported. That means of every 100 cases of sexual assault, 94 of the women’s abusers are not held accountable for their actions and have likely moved onto another victim.

If you’re wondering why so few cases are reported, let’s take a quick trip down memory lane.

CBC Radio host Jian Ghomeshi was charged with four counts of sexual assault in 2014.  In 2016, Ghomeshi was acquitted when the judge questioned the credibility of the victims, claiming it was “impossible to have sufficient faith in the reliability of these complainants.”  

The victims of Ghomeshi’s sexual assault were referred to by the media as “manipulative” and “insincere”.  I suppose they’re right; one should be expected to have complete, unflinching memory of every detail that took place during a gravely traumatic experience, am I right?

Stanford University swimmer Brock Turner was sentenced to six months in prison after sexually assaulting an unconscious woman at a frat party and ended up being released after serving just half of his sentence.  The victim of Turner’s sexual assault said she “felt embarrassed for trying, for being led to believe [she] had any influence.”  

Even with forensic evidence, unbiased witnesses, and police at the scene, the case was not considered a “slam dunk.”  Turner’s sentence was shortened from 6 months to 3 months because the judge feared a longer sentence “would have a severe impact on [him].”  Seriously?

Now, let’s take a moment to imagine that our mother was (God forbid) sexually assaulted.  How likely is it that we would assume it was our mother’s fault for having been taken advantage of by another person?  Not very.  So then why are we so quick to assume that other victims of sexual assault were “asking for it” by being intoxicated, wearing provocative clothing, or not keeping their legs together?  And why are sexual assault cases still being reported by the media plastered with headlines that are blatantly questioning a victim’s credibility?

Sexual assault is a traumatic experience, one in which the victim deserves support and compassion.  We do not blame theft victims.  We do not blame assault victims.  We do not blame arson victims.  We need to STOP blaming rape victims.