chick smarts

Most - if not all - girls have a purse or a tote bag that they take everywhere.  In said purse or tote bag, there are a few staple items.  The following is a list of essentials that I think everyone should have in their purse:

Detergent Pen – you never know when you’re going to waste coffee all over yourself.  Because life is usually an asshole, it’s likely to happen just before a big date or job interview.  Get out your Tide Pen and clean that shit up.

The contents of my sister's purse

Gum/mints – fresh breath is always a must.

Pocket mirror – my friends are dicks and probably wouldn’t tell me if I had something stuck in my teeth.  Therefore, my pocket mirror is my best friend.

Foundation – this may not be as vital to others as it is to me, but when your face is oilier than Danny Zuko’s hair, you’re going to require multiple touch-ups throughout the day.

Nail file – again, this may not be as vital to most people, but I generally have my nails at a length long enough to be in danger of cracking off while wrestling with a stubborn Pepsi can pull tab.

Lipgloss – I’m pretty confident every girl has this in their purse already - chapped lips are a pain in the ass.

Moisturizer – just convenient to have.

Band-aids – I carry these as a sort of public service.  I don’t usually cut myself bad enough to warrant a band-aid.  If I’m ever wearing a band-aid, it’s most likely for aesthetic purposes.

Tissues – something else I carry as a public service.  I don’t blow my nose in public – ew – but who am I to deny anyone else?

The contents of my purse

Tampons – ladies, no-brainer.

Pen – just good common sense!

Aspirin – if you work with the type of people I work with, this is a necessity.

Extra phone charger – this is a very good investment (actually, I don’t know if this qualifies as an investment… phone chargers are not very expensive).  I have three: one for home, one for work, and one in my bag.

Nail/eyelash/crazy glue – very handy to have.  Nail and eyelash glue are both a lot stronger than you’d think.  You never know when you’re going to have to glue a penis back onto a statue – haven’t you ever seen The Wedding Planner?

Hand sanitizer – Who knows how many people pick their nose before they shake your hand?

What are some of your purse essentials?