Monday, 19 January 2015

humiliation nation

“Mortified Nation is a documentary about adults who share their most embarrassing, private childhood writing…in front of total strangers.”

First of all, if you have not seen this film yet, I highly recommend it.

Secondly, I’ve decided to put on my big girl pants and participate in the mortified crusade.

For anybody who isn’t familiar with BlueKaffee, it’s a website on which to post online journals, mostly for Newfoundlanders.  In the early 00’s, it was the (virtual) place to be.  All of us skullies and scene kids spent roughly 95 per cent of our free time on this site.

I’m going to share a couple of my journal entries from that site – please be kind.

Language Warning!

“sleep pretty darling, do not cry”

submitted:  May 20, 2007  12:23:20 PM
Music:  ben folds five

some people are just really pathetic .
it’s hilarious .

nick lost my bank card yesterday
we went to mcdonald’s and he laid my bank card on the drive-thru window
and it fell through the slot of the charity box
and nobody at mcdonald’s had the key to open it


hopefully getting baked with nick and shaun tonight
then chillin’ like a villain in the park, I spose
with joeyfitznickshauntimjoseph
come if you’d like !


work was deadluh
travis is rly silly
and nick’s a good dancer
 There was an unwritten rule that you must include lyrics in every journal entry.  Also, if you added a space between the last word of a sentence and the punctuation mark, you were cool as balls.

“it’s coming down to nothing more than apathy”
submitted:  Dec 30, 2006  12:18:46  AM
Music:  the fray

show was good .

poor jordan .
getting your balls stepped on is never fun .


it was too cold to play on the donkey .
sad times indeed .

hanging out with joe tomorrow .
should be fun x a kajillion and twenty-six .

i’m not really in the mood to do anything big for new years .
i might just have people in to make a gingerbread house .
who’s in ?
 Every scene kid’s anthem was some song by The Fray.

For clarification:
“Green Needs” was the Needs store in Paradise that had a green neon sign instead of orange (all Needs at that time were orange) and “the donkey” was one of those things in the playground that’s on a giant spring and kids sit on it and bounce.  We used to play on it when we went to local music shows at the Paradise Rec Centre.

“and the blue prints were drawn up from a dream of mine”
submitted:  Nov 25, 2006  04:54:46 PM
Music:  martin sexton

xxx-mas shopping tonight
with cage1 <3

I have a lot of people to get presents for
so if you assume i’m getting you one
then comment with what you want .
it’ll make it so much easier for me .

and if you post, and i don’t end up getting you something
…then I don’t like you .

peace .
 It was considered very uncool to use proper sentence case when writing journal entries. 

“i can’t believe i’m listening to ashlee simpson, someone kill me .”
submitted:  Feb 03, 2005  02:51:59 PM
Music:  autobiography

today i had math

easy as lemons .
tomorrow kiki and amy get to watch me climb in amy’s bathroom window .
anyone wanna help me and amy think of a name for our band ?
haha we’re cool yes .
word up .

*sigh* okay well something’s gone wrong .
and i can’t fix it .
although i wish I could .
it’s made me pretty sad .
i don’t know what happened .
but i guess it’s for the best .
not really .
 Ah, yes.  The quintessential “my life sucks, give me attention” post.  There are quite a few of those.

*Le sigh* 

“what you think is love, it’s truly not”
submitted:  Apr 29, 2006  08:39:22 PM
Music:  eve

fuck everything .

i haven’t been satisfied with the way my friendships are for a long time .
if you can call them that .

i think i’ve set a record .
i’ve been ditched six times in two weeks .
call the fucking guinness book .

i really shouldn’t be doing this .
my ‘friends’ are going to think i want a pity party .
which is really the last thing i need right now .
but you know how well they know me !

at least the few hours i spent with sara actually took my mind off the bullshit .
and i actually had fun .
i love you, sara

if anyone else is feeling disgustingly emo they’re welcome to come join me .
we can slit our wrists together .
best kind .
 Life as a 15 year old is so hard.

“when we mourn the death of you that night”
submitted:  Jun 13, 2006  08:57:40 PM
Music:  saves the day

i fucking hate bad moods .

almost everything’s going wrong today .
but what else can i expect .
i mean it is my life .

if one person calls me emo i’ll cut your throat .

i guess there’s always the weekend to look forward to
hope that doesn’t get fucked up too .
then i might just have to kill myself .

i really need someone to talk to
but not someone who’s going to argue with me
i guess i just need someone to listen .

but… why would anyone want to do that for me .
 Brutal, brutal, brutal.

“it just keeps getting worse .”
submitted:  Jul 15, 2005  11:21:01 PM
Music:  fall out boy

he’s not improving .
he seems to dislike me even more .
it’s ruining me .
what to dooooooo .
 I don’t even know who he is.  But clearly this was a very tragic period in my life.

Well, that was a very unfortunate trip down memory lane.

I have no more words.

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