Saturday, 6 December 2014

If I were a boy...

My boyfriend talked me into participating in the My 500 Words challenge which encourages writers to write 500 words a day for 31 days.

My first post in this challenge is...

What I would do if I were a boy

I love being a girl, I really do, but sometimes I genuinely wonder what it would be like to be male. 

If I could be a boy for just a little while, here are the things I would do.

1.Not wear make-up

My morning routine probably only takes about 15 minutes, which is at the low end of the spectrum in terms of morning routine for females.  It should be noted however that this only applies for weekday mornings.  If I am going to a function of any kind, getting ready takes me at least 45 minutes.  Between picking out clothing to deciding on a hairstyle, executing that hairstyle, and then applying my make up, it's a whole production.  If I were a boy, I would absolutely relish the fact that all I'd have to do is wash my face and brush my teeth.

2. Fart

Maybe not in public, but definitely around my friends.  Farting just seems to be a social norm for a lot of guys.  Then again, I could be wrong.  I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years now, and he is perfectly comfortable farting in front of me, which is perfectly fine.  However, I still do not fart in front of him, nor do I fart in front of my girlfriends.  I feel like that is just one of those things that women cannot do if they want to remain "ladylike" in the eyes of...Well...Anyone.

3. Not worry about shaving

If I were a man, obviously I wouldn't have to worry about shaving my legs or pits.  But, to take it even further, I wouldn't even worry about shaving my face.  That's the thing about being a guy; lots of ladies like the scruffy look.  So, if you're feeling too lazy to shave your beard, women just think you're manly, not lazy.

4. Take off my shirt in public

Full disclosure; I am a sweat machine.  If it were socially acceptable for me to partially disrobe in public, I would probably do it on a daily basis.

5. Pee standing up

Not that peeing sitting down is a huge burden for me - I just want to see what all the fuss is about.  I think it would be pretty cool to use a urinal, too.

6. Write my name in the snow...With pee

It just seems like a lot of fun

7.  Wash my hair everyday

This may seem like a strange one, but as a female with semi-long and very thick hair, washing my hair is a two-hour long production.  Washing my hair involves working through the shampoo and then waiting for the conditioner to penetrate which takes about 20 minutes.  Then drying is roughly a 30-40 minute process.  Then there's the issue of curling or straightening my hair, which is an additional 15-25 minutes. If I were a boy -  specifically a short-haired boy - I would definitely take advantage of the fact that I could wash my hair in the span of just five minutes.

But, I still love being a girl.

I think.

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