Wednesday, 24 December 2014

five stages

When you’re a child, Christmas is a time of joy and excitement.  The only thing you have to worry about is forcing yourself to fall asleep on Christmas Eve so that Santa can successfully sneak into your house and leave you some gifts under the tree.  When you’re an adult, however, Christmas turns into a season of anxiety and burden.  You’re forced to visit people you don’t want to; you have to spend money you don’t have to get presents for people you don’t like; and you look forward to your last day of work only to spend your holidays without sleep or relaxation of any kind.

These are the five stages of Christmas that almost every adult experiences each year.

Christmas decorations start showing up in stores even before Halloween is over.  It just reminds us that the season of stress is just a couple of short months away.  Once the Christmas music starts playing over shopping mall speakers in early November, our irritation becomes even more prominent.  We know why stores do this – it’s because the Christmas season is when they make the most money, so why wouldn’t they want to start as early as possible?  Doesn’t mean I’m going to like it.

Once the Christmas music starts playing everywhere and bigger sections of stores start filling up with Christmas toys and treats, it may seem like it’s time to start your Christmas shopping.  But, we know better.  So what if there’s only 21 shopping days left until Christmas?  That gives me loooads of time!  There’s no reason to start spending yet.  Christmas is still a long ways away.

Okay so, maybe I should’ve started Christmas shopping before now.  There’s only a week left until Christmas and I have twelve cousins to buy for, plus I’ve had six coworkers give me gifts already meaning I’m obligated to go out and find something for them before they take their holidays.  Plus, I’m having my in-laws over for dinner on Christmas Eve and I haven’t picked up a mop or broom yet.  There’s too much to do and not enough time!  Forget it, Christmas is cancelled this year.

You know what?  Who cares if I don’t get everything done before Christmas?  Some people can wait until after Christmas to get their gifts.  And my in-laws aren’t going to be satisfied no matter how much I bust my ass cleaning the house, so why bother?  Christmas is two days away and I physically cannot get everything done in time, but I don’t care anymore.  I’m over it.

Anything that’s left to do after Christmas day doesn't seem so daunting anymore.  I mean, any gifts you haven’t delivered by the 25th are late already, so what’s another day or two?  Now you can take solace in the fact that it’ll be another ten months before you have to deal with the nuisance of long lines at the grocery store and the shopping day countdown.

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